DoggyStyle…..Gangsta Party….Captain Red Beard

Good morning.  Second Friday in a row without a boss, which is about as good as it gets.  Actually,  teetering on the edge of blacking out and hearing “Do you want me to flip over?” is as good as it gets.  But this ain’t bad.

(Note:  Asking a guy if he wants you to flip over is the equivalent of asking if he wants a beer, if he plans on watching the football game, or if he likes the show 24.   There are four kinds of sex to a guy; 1. oral, 2. anal, 3. intercourse, 4. doggystyle.  For some it is as close as we’ll come to anal, plus it nullifies kissing, eye contact, and you seeing me make this face.)

Everyone wins with Doggy.

So anyways, Super Bowl time huh?  As the analysts conjure up a  heart-wrenching sob story (Jerome Bettis, Kurt Warner, etc.)  I got my mind on one thing > the NBA all-star game.   So as far as the Super Bowl, I want Indy because Peyton is a tad bit less of a tool than Grossman. 

Indy: 18

Chicago: 4

Take the under,  people.

So in an attempt to foster our overcrowded prison problem,  some brilliant dipshit has chosen Las Vegas as the location for this year’s NBA all -star weekend.  Soooo let me get this straight….you’re going to hold the all-star game for a league full of borderline criminals in the city of sin.  Somewhere out west, hookers are already planning their retirement.    I really cannot fathom what will transpire.

Over Unders:

Concealed Weapon Charges – 456

Dead Rappers – 3

Marijuana Arrests – 6,178

Swisher Sweets Sales – 6,178

People named Stephen Jackson that will get arrested – 1.3

It should be pretty interesting.  If you are looking to hit it big, buy some stock in Magnum Condoms sometime before the big weekend.  If you are smart, afraid of black people,  or not a baller…stay the fuck out of Vegas that weekend.

Watch this if your named is Feezer, or if you’re stoned.  Fucking Jedi.

Well, back to my hangover and clock watching.  Have a good weekend.